A: Definitely NOT, you ugly freak!
I have sat upon this written blog entry for weeks, and I didn't want to publish it due to my swollen ego. But I must be truthful to myself or, at the very least, truthful to you, my dear readers... So...
The last area I would like to examine about myself is of course: My face...
Over the course my short life, I am presented with ample opportunities to study my own face in mirrors, window reflections, bus stop shelters, puddles of rain on the sidewalk, etc... And with a certain ape-like curiosity, I have objectively assess the good and bad attributes of my face. Now I would like to share with you these gleaming truths about my mug:
- I possess a striking set of cheek bones, well structured and well balanced relative to my face... Certainly I could be construed as having a beautiful bone structure.
- The jawline is very strong and square, very gritty and chiseled.
- The forehead above is expansive and distinctive, and the chin below is sharp and character-filled, framing my long face quite nicely.
- The nose is big, round and slightly crooked, not sharp at all. But it is quite tall and therefore kinda passable as "not bad".
- And sure, the eyes are hidden behind large folds of eyelids, giving me "chinky" eyes. But certain people finds it attractive. I certainly find Lucy very luscious indeed.
- And of course I discovered that "...I'm so vain, I probably think this blog is about me... I'm so waaainn... I probably think this blog is about meeee, don't I, don't I?"
Seriously, I know I am ugly but not nearly as ugly as I like to imagine myself to be. Like most other vain person in the world, given the proper lighting and ample makeup, viewed from a good angle, wearing the right clothing, apply a good dosage of air-brushing... I can definitely be confused as being a half-decent looking man:
BUT... there is something that is definitely not right about my face... Something that would cause women all over the globe to shun me as a completely unattractive man... Something I was not aware of until its existence was cruelly revealed to me a year ago by an Orthodontist... Something that has since prompted my sister to refer to me as "the man who have missed the last step of evolution"...
That's right: I have BIG ARSE TEETH!!
Like a fair proportion of other Asians descendants, I display symptoms of Maxillary Prognathism or commonly referred to as an overbite. My siblings has it. My dad has it. His siblings has it. It runs in the family...
So what this really mean is: I have massively huge teeth that poke out of my gob like mushrooms springing out of a pile of steaming cow turd.
My bite line protrudes so prodigiously far from my face, I can truly say that my bite is worst than my bark... :-3
Strangely, this gaunt of mine doesn't make me look like a dog. Rather it gives me a strange duck-bill like face:
Suffice to say, I am not good looking... Even worst, I am shallow and I am not good looking, which compounds my self-loathing... Hmm...
But at least now I can be satisfied in proclaiming to the world... Aye, I am one ugly bastard... I can accept that women do not find me attractive at all... and I do not have to die wondering why most gay men score more chicks than I do.
Maybe I should turn gay instead... :-D
** This should be the last depressing blog entry I write that derides myself as an ugly pudding. I will try picking on other people for a change next time... I promise... Stay tuned!