13 March, 2007

Q: Do You Think My Hair is Sexxxy, Honey?!?

A: Probably not...

Following on from my realisation of how unattractive women find me in general, I am now in deep contemplation on the exact *why* of my unattractiveness. The specific factors that leads me to being the ugly bastard that I am.

To commence, the first factor I shall examine is my lack of hair.

Those of you know me personally knows that, yes, I clipper my hair regularly to keep it extremely short, all the time. Some of you may be confuse as to why I would commit such a non-socially conforming act to look even more stupider.

Firstly, I view it from the angle that hair in itself is not a necessity to looking HAWT. Take the example of Becks, Colin, Mr. Pitt and Freddy (pictured below), these are four of the world's most sexiest men, and when they carry a chrome dome, women will continue to swoon at their feet. Some may find this even more sexy, in a primal caveman kind of way...

David Beckham

Colin Farrell

Brad Pitt

Fredrik Ljungberg





Thus, proving conclusively that a hairstyle is merely the ribbon on top of the prezzie, with or without the flowing locks, it will not majorly impact the HAWT-ness of the man itself.

Secondly, if I do grow out my hair, they will come out as thick wiry strands of wilderness. They go-a-this-a-way, they go-a-that-a-way, they shoot out in all kind of silly direction. It is damn near impossible to put a pair of scissors thorough them, let alone style them into any form or fashion. So I thought I would just sever the lot of them, every last strand shall be lop off for the glory of the scalp. And I have been doing this for over five years now.

As you can see from the before and after photos below, I definitely look better without the hair...

Beaten to within an inch of his life with an ugly stick:
Gordon with Hair (circa 2002)

Just moderately ugly: Gordon without Hair (circa 2006)

What do you think, which one is uglier?


gnaphos said...

Go and get a wig, long hair one; get a moustache, wear a hat, put on some earrings and nose piercing... that might work.

Gord said...

I doubt it :p

ln said...

I personally like your "no-hair, I'm a monk fresh out of the monestry, never touch a girl so please let me touch you" look.

Gord said...

I personally like your "no-hair, I'm a monk fresh out of the monestry, never touch a girl so please let me touch you" look.

yes, that hairdo never get out of fashion...