08 March, 2007

What's My Name Again?

As some of you may have noticed, controversial Sydney's boxer and former rugby league star Anthony "The Man" Mundine have reclaimed his WBA Super Middleweight World Championship belt. A big congratulation is in order for the Man.

In the title bout that is coined as:

The King vs. The Man

... Mundine took on Melbourne's gritty fighter Sammy "The King" Soliman, a former kickboxer with rapid fire hands and a healthy stamina. Alas, the Man commanded nine head punishing rounds to eventually KO the King, assigning Soliman his first stoppage loss.

Of course, the Man's last high profile bout was up against Perth's hard man, Danny "The Green Machine". In one of Australia's most anticipated fight, dubbed as:

Man vs. Machine

... the Man once again dominated the grudge match by going twelve rounds to win on unanimous points decision against the Machine.

Proving clearly the Man is... the man.

Which brings me (in a roundabout way) to the point of this blog entry: What's My Name?

I mean, if I was a Pro Fighter, and that's a pretty-big-damn IF, set amongst the fraternity of Iron Mike, Cinderella Man and The Greatest, what would be my fighting moniker?

Let's be clear about this, I am in no shape to be fighting a ballerina at the moment. You can see from these videos: Part I, Part II, Part III and Part IV, that I am slow on my feet, I lack any form or technique and I am hopeless on my left flank. But let's say hypothetically, that I am a professional circuit fighter, what name would be worthy of this worthless thug? And how would you promote this clumsy fighter?

Hmm... Let's start with the obvious ones:

Names based on my name

  • Gordon "Wonky" Wong - "Don't hit him too hard or he'll collapse down like a sack of rotting potatoes."
  • Gordon "The Wong Man" - "Please don't hurt him, he is only here by an accident of nature."
  • "Flash" Gordon Wong - "Umm, make sure he tie up his boxer shorts properly or you'll get a nasty surprise."
  • Gordon "The Warden" Wong - "He'll lock you up in a headlock, Bi-atch!"
  • "The Gorgon" Wong - "Dammmn, he is one ugly mother."

Names based on my previous nicknames

  • Gordon "The Gorilla" Wong - "He's big, he's slow, he's a vegetarian, he's gonna go extinct..."
  • Gordon "The Duck" Wong - "A mouth so big he'll swallow your boxing glove whole!"
  • Gordon "The Grasshopper" Wong - "Umm, they just call him the grasshopper, OK??"
  • Gordon "The Baboon" Wong - "The man with the BIG red arse."

Will the real "Flash" Gordon please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up?

So which name one do you like? Can you think of any other good names?

2 comments:

ln said...

Gordon "the Monk" Wong - He will razzle dazzle you with philosophical bull since he's in no shape to fight.

Gord said...

damn, how did left that out of my list... Thanks LN!