21 December, 2006

My Mutant (Kinda) Superpower

Many moons ago, I realised I was different to a lot of my peers. It seems that hyper-flexibility or double-jointedness is not all that common and I possess a degree of it in a number of my joints.

Namely, my elbows can be bent backward, as well as rotate around as it is bent backward... this always prove as a cool party trick, somehow everyone is completely freaked out by this act of contortion, whereas I always thought of this as a normal attribute for everyone.

My knee joints can also be bent forward, although the degree of this freakishness is far less than my elbows. Also, my fingers can be hyper-extended as well:

While this is all good and well, all of my sisters display some form of this genetic trait as well. So I don't believe I am a super-freak, just your standard garden-variety freak I guess...

That was, until a few days ago...

While in the office my colleagues were giving me crap about how physically large my mouth was and theorised that perhaps I could probably fit my entire fist in it. To which, I responded by doing EXACTLY that. I turned around to face them, said "allow me to demonstrate..." and squeeze my right clenched fist into my extensive gob!

I felt like I was Bruce Willis in "Unbreakable", when it first dawned upon himself that his ability was far beyond anything he imagined.

I would post a photo of this incredible act of stupidity/inanity, except it would only serve to scare the kiddies and frightened the cattles. So I must refrain.

However, having stumbled upon this new found ability, I feel I have a social responsibility to form my own team of kinda-super mutant crime fighting team, a-la Professor X and the X-Men.

So to all you blog readers out there, if you have any freakish physical abilities, please submit your skills for consideration and I will contact you shortly for an interview... and before you know it, the scums of the Earth will have to contend with fearsome powers of the "Not-so-super-X-Men"... Watch out world!

2 comments:

LL said...

>>....I felt like I was Bruce Willis in "Unbreakable"...

Please see a psychologist before you going around the train station and touch ppl to see whether you could read their mind :)

Gord said...

Police Interview Transcript No.758212 [31/12/2006 23:32]

...

Suspect: "I was just reading their minds to see if they are a super-villian, I swear...

"I wasn't trying to check out their booty... Read my blog, Officer, you will see that I am a Super-Hero, Honest..."

Officer Brackett: "Sir, can you please turn around?"

Suspect: "Is the Rubber-Gloves necessary??"

...