Song That Make You go "Hmmmmm"...

Have you ever heard of Neil Sedaka's classic tune "Calendar Girl"? The chorus of the song pretty much goes as thus:

I love, I love, I love my calender girl
Yeah, sweet calender girl
I love, I love, I love my calender girl
Each and every day of the year...
etc. etc.

Pop quiz: What do you think Mr. Sedaka was doing when he wrote this song?

1. Stroking the salami; or
2. Spanking the monkey; or
3. Whacking off.

Hmmmmm... Would that explain the uppity beat of the song? (no pun intended)