Caucasian Girls

Today I will do my part for the environment and recycle a comment I wrote in Sam de Brito's blog, "All Men are Liars*", and use it for this blog entry. The below text is an edited version of what I wrote before:

...

I am a Chinese male but have been an Australian for most of my life.

I have often openly expressed to my (mostly Asian) friends that I prefer the feature and attitude of oriental women. What I don't openly admit to is that I am also very attracted to Caucasian women.

But due to my (perhaps sub-conscious) understanding or delusion that Caucasian women are inherently not attracted to Asian men, I do not commit the social faux pas of chasing after Aussie girls.

...

Allow me relate a tale of my youth. When I immigrated to Darwin nearly 20 years ago, I fell in love with the Aussie lifestyle here.

The beauty of the English language in poetry and songs. The diversity of culture and people of this free country. The greenery and open spaces on this wide open land...

And the cute Caucasian girls at school...

The fine olive skin of the Mediterranean girls. The blonde locks of these exquisite goddesses. The large sapphire blue and jade green irises they possess.

And freckles... WOW-wee, what heavenly delights... :-)

(To be perfectly balanced, I must say I find Caucasian's larger bust size very pleasing to my pubescent eyes as well :-)

...

There is one girl at school which I find absolutely irresistible... Wow, how do I put this... think of a very young Nicole Kidman with wavy strawberry blonde hair and just a splash of freckles on her button nose and the cutest of cheeks.

How I adored and worshipped her...

She was into drama, so instinctively I signed up for the drama club. She was vice-captain of the softball team, heck, I'll try-out for the team (never mind that I had the athletic ability of a mouldy tree stump). She played touch-footy, I'll ditto that... Martial Arts, ditto again...

Everything she did, I try to do, poorly I might add... (except for drama which I excelled)... but I guess it was beginning to be obvious that I was stalking her!

On top of my near constant presence, I had confessed to my school friends that I have amorous feelings for this curious flaxen-haired creature. And naturally the rumours of this chubby Chinese bloke hankering for a fair Caucasian girl found it's way to her ears.

...

Unfortunately, when the opportunity arise one day, she pulled me aside and told me under no uncertain term I was to go anywhere near her again. Apparently, I was screwing things up for her. I was cramping her style.

I was devastated.

...

Truthfully, women are women. Caucasian, Asian or otherwise. They are beautiful in their many qualities.

But to this day, I cannot fully reconciled my repressed fear of European women and their (supposed) distaste of the Asian males. I just cannot look at an Aussie girl any way other than a beautiful mythical unicorn, magical yet completely out of reach.

Reinforced by Hollywood stereotyping of Inter-Asian-Caucasian relationship (examine the Hollywood movies of stars like Jackie Chan, Jet Li and Chow-Yun Fat, how often do they score with the Caucasian leading ladies?)

There is still a lot of baggage for me to unload...