06 June, 2007

Unwanted Erection or Excellent PR?

OK, first read this article from Forbes (A business mag no less?!?) about:

Man Sues Over Long-Lasting Erection

So the story goes, that this dude drank this magical energy drink and he is now packing heat 24/7... Right?!?...

Now I am no marketing genius, but I am guessing that if I want to sell a generic product, any generic product, *very fast* I would probably want to claim that said product can help you:

  • make your kids love you,
  • make your neighbours envy you,
  • lose weight,
  • gain muscle,
  • grow you more hair,
  • lose you more hair,
  • reduce wrinkles,
  • fight aging,
  • lift your butt,
  • tone your abs,
  • give you bigger cleavage,
  • give you a longer lasting erection,
  • give you ten mind-altering orgasms,
  • in a row,
  • over a five hours period,
  • and for a limited time only, it comes with this *FREE* Snoopy collectible doll...
  • HURRY!!! Don't miss out or your kids will hate YOU!!

Seriously, this product will sell like hot crack in prison.

If however, you can only claim any one of the above bullshit, the "longer lasting erection" one will do quite well as a marketing ploy. Case in point: Viagra + Oysters = Resonating Crescendo Hype...

So if I am marketing this herbal drinks "Boost Plus" and some bloke comes along saying: "Hey, I want to sue your company for giving me a never ending erection", I'll be saying: "Sir, please wait while we increase our factory manufacturing output, because I am sure as hell we won't be able to meet the flooding demands... By the way would you like us to pay your legal fees while we are at it?"

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